11 January, 2007

I Guess I Miss It

I'm not gonna lie. I sort of miss posting to my blog. Since I'm barely talking to any of my friends regardless of whether or not they read the blog, what the hell. At least you can sort of know what's going on in my life, even if I have no idea what's going on in any of yours. (Shameless plug: I have an American phone number. Call me on it!)
I've had a really big identity crisis lately. It's probably somewhat apparent from this blog. Aside from all the issues (mostly dealing with Judaism and homosexuality and less so with religious Zionism) discussed in previous blogs, I have significant, unexplainable issues with being religious. For some reason, I am ashamed to be thought of as "dati" in this country. I continue to wear my kipah and my tzitzit (tucked in, but I've done it that way for as long as I've worn tzitzit), and yet, I often wish it wasn't there. I feel the need to explain to every restaurateur that I am ok with eating dairy in a non-Kosher restaurant, and to tell marketers on the street that they won't appeal to me by appealing to my religiousness. What the hell is going on? Does anybody really care that I don't respect the Rabbanut in Israel? Do I even care?
In a few days, I have a blind date, set up by my friend's sister (thanks Meira!). I've heard lots of great things about her (she staffed the AviChai trip and so I got to do some leg work before hand). She's modern orthodox apparently, and I was relieved to hear she wears pants and not just skirts. Honestly, what the hell is wrong with me? I bitch every other day that I'm having a hard time meeting people in this country, especially girls. And yet, I almost gave up an opportunity to meet someone new (in the context of a date, no less), because of some religious prejudice toward people who, like me, are committed to religion. Well, until I run into some observant, cynical, Conservative/Reform, left-wing, not quite Zionist but not quite Post-Zionist attractive, fun, girl between the ages of 20 and 26, I guess I should just be open-minded. But what does it say about me that I'm having such a hard time being so?

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hackit, I just got off the phone with todd. Interview is finally done with. He said I'll hear whats what by the end of the month, so Ill cross my fingers or whateva. He also talked up that Israel program of yours, so maybe I will do it..but really who knows? Also, as per your girl problem- just relax. Being a predator is creepy, and whining and bitching about girls just makes you less attractive. Its the calm, self assured guy who wins the day. You know me Hackit, Im not really so suave, but I do alright for myself. You help me out with advice so often, I just thought I owed you. Hope youre alright and things get better bro

Arie said...

Micah, glad to hear the interview went well. As for my girl problem, what girl problem? The whole point of this blog is about my identity problem, how I'm ashamed to be identified as religious. But thanks for the advice anyway.

Anonymous said...

ayo arie, dude. stop fucking complaining, you are in israel, living the life. just enjoy shit dont analyze the dumb stuff, so what you struggle with religon, whatevs dude. its 2007 who doesnt?

also, dont talk about your date on your blog? what if this chick reads your blog, you dont that would weird her out? but also goodluck i hope things go well you stalion.

i love you dude. me and strub miss you. even though im 17 and im in no possition to give you advice. just stop being a complainer. and start just loving everything.

all my love. - maximus

Arie said...

ayo max,
good point about the girl. any former reader of GAL knows that I should know better than that. If she does start reading the blog at some point, I'll edit the post.
As for telling me to stop complaining, FYDJM.