Back to the usual identity crisis problems. Today's problem: why am I getting a masters?
To be honest, I think that I am mostly doing it to make friends. And I suppose that since I've made two of them, that's been a success.
But what about my love of the subject matter? Just when I got excited about hip hop again, I realized that I was on my own. If there's one thing I understand about my ADD, it's that I am quite bad at setting personal deadlines and following them. I am not returning my students' papers nearly as fast as I would like to, I put off learning my Torah reading to the last minute every week, and I haven't yet started work on my independent study. I'm supposed to be reading Bourdieu. I bought the book, and started it four weeks ago. I've read three pages. I sort of understood them. I downloaded the article by Regev (who should be my mentor at this point, and is technically my advisor). I haven't printed it or started to read it. Why? Because we haven't set a deadline. And I can always find something else to do with my time that does have a deadline. Or at least that I know I need to get done more eventually.
So what about my other class? I'm on strike. Why am I striking? I don't even agree with the demands of the students (lower tuition). I'm actually in favor of raising tuition and having a better financial aid system, since I don't believe one exists here at all. So I've accomplished almost nothing in this class. I don't follow the lectures because of the Hebrew. I did the reading, but they never corresponded to our discussions, as far as I could tell. I think that now, two months after the semester has started, we've covered two of thirteen topics. But I could be wrong. I have no idea.
On the plus side, I finally got into the masters program. I didn't even have high enough grades (which I think I can legitimately blame on the language issues, though it is an adjustment to be in a place without grade inflation), but they let me in anyway. Thanks guys! We'll see if I repay them by staying in the program at all.
The alternatives? Get a job that pays better than the three I currently have combined? Apply to a Rabbinical school with a dean who's so homophobic it's nauseating? Apply to a rabbinical school that's more open but is too left-wing even for me and might prevent me from getting the kind of jobs I want? Move back to America, be closer to my family and friends, but risk never making it back to Israel? Get a masters in something else? Music magazine? Full-time blogging?
Suggestions welcome.
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4 comments:
Masters degrees end up being more helpful than you think they are when you study for them. Trust me.
hey cousine, i guess its hard moving to a different country and start living normal life there, it takes some time, and in your case, you've already mastered the language so its gonna be much easier, but i think that now its your time to hit roots here in israel (not sure thats the expression), and later youll be too busy with serious life to be bothered to move to israel. youll make enough friends here eventually much faster then most countries. i've been to lots of places, and i think israel has a really special vibe you probably know it already.
enough patriotism im really not like that !
but seriously take a time for your thoughts, because dont forget that in israeli timeline you are 4 years a head on most people so youll have enough time to close the cultural gaps.
and maybe.... maybe even think about going to the army, i dont know ask some of your american friends who've done it for their opinion because my opinion is biased.
thats my fifty cents for tonight, meanwhile have a great time, ill talk to you soon (hope it let me leave such a long comment...)
Music Magazine. Just gimme the nod and we'll begin. Holla.
I suggest selling drugs. Some significant one time cost for the hydroponic gear, but very lucrative quickly thereafter.
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